bluedaybreak

March 23rd through April 3rd, 2015

Here we are again, at the dawn of a new season; and I, in the dusky darkness of an old life, repeating patterns. There are ways in which I have changed - pulled up the socks and tightened ye olde boot straps - and there are ways in which I have stayed undeniably the same - stale and stagnant.

I woke yesterday to a sunrise of apricots, blueberries and raspberries. And I should have stepped outside then; into the world, stood in the brisk, crisp air, breathed with the stir of the breeze... but I closed my eyes again.

I closed my eyes again.

There are a million different wars to fight in my peaceful warrior stance; but I must wave the white flag of surrender on this internal battle. I must call on the inspiration I offer to so many - raise my voice to reach my own inner ear - heed these words... keep yourself.

Create space between all that seems to be and the truth of who you are - hold that space and set up camp and live, authentic -

The First Three Tentative Months

Its not for a lack of words- sweet, beautiful, profound; hateful, fearful, cruel- Its not for a lack of ears- open, receptive, curious; expectant, supposing, twisted- Its not for a lack of understanding- pain, loss, confusion; expression, inspiration, hope- Its for a lack of iron, steadfast in who I am. Its for a lack of patience, in defending all of that. Its for a lack of belonging, to anyone, to me. Its for a lack of release, floating free. Its for a lack of trust, that it'll be got... that it is real-

March 9th through 22nd, 2015

Its about these precarious edges; these balances between all things. Its about finding and maintaining confidence and strength throughout, trusting the inner eye to show the way. Its about breaking through, and the inevitability of other things breaking in. Its about the unknown and cultivating an ease of come what may -

March 2nd through 8th, 2015

May all that is lost, be found -

February 23rd through March 1st, 2015

Wolves and tigers and peacocks, oh my!

February 17th through 22nd, 2015

Give me my bones back

I long for a frame

some strong foundation to build upon

to keep me safe from myself

Give me my bones back

I long for a structure

some fundamental base to stand on

to keep my true to myself

Give me my bones back

I long for the lines

some physical poetry to write from

to finally find & keep myself-

February 9th through 16th, 2015

February 2nd through 8th, 2015

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional... Buddha

January 26th through February 1st, 2015

I can't keep waiting for the day I change to be the day I wake up changed.

January 19th through 25th, 2015

Oh this precarious life. The dust stays settled just as long as you don't breathe. And maybe I climbed the ladder. Maybe I sat up there with my crown. These bowling pins in the air... oh this precarious life. An aunt is a humanitarian, and an uncle is a cousin is a brother and she tries to sell tea bag tags as rings or vice versa as I try to remove the pillows from their cases. Three foot tall doll with blonde hair and a red dress floats against the ceiling. I try to direct the other faces to it as she hides in the wood. They see her, finally, as she hovers back towards us, swiping the air with her foot as she aims a kick at my cat. I grab the little bitch and force her into gravity. As I bite her plastic hand my tongue tastes blood and I know she can be beat. Right minds, wrong minds, delusions and deceptions. Nothing is what it seems, and yet it is all me; fighting fear I may rise or fall -

January 12th through 18th, 2015

The light is dim here in the middle.

Below the dust rises as I stumble.

Both horse and rider am I, my chains and my liberation,

my bonds and my freedom.

Above the colours bold and shifting,

words of heart and love of truth,

tree and sea a prismatic blending;

a cow is a whale is a fish gill breathing.

Her head seeks my hand and the light is bright now.

Belly-catch fence but makes it through,

nourishment nothing brings naught but suffering;

Soul speaks loudly and I take my cue -

January 5th through 11th, 2015

Sole (or Soul?) bared to the ice and snow

grain of sand and line of chalk I know

amber eye and liquid silver finger flow

smirk of fear understands as above, so below -

with beeswax from the flea market a girl's gotta' start somewhere -

December 27th, 2014 through January 4th, 2015

In the lonely wilderness of the mind

a thousand voices are not my companions

negotiations are not compromises

but one more cowardice defeat

A pigeon hole I've not made home

a prison they can not hold me in

type-cast in another's perceived reality

a script I shall never read -

December 15th through 26th, 2014

Once upon a time there was a family that many would consider to be rich. The father felt his son should learn about how the 'poor people' live. So together, they drove for hours into the country, where, apparently, the 'poor people' live. There, they pitch a tent and set up camp and stayed and observed for four days and four nights. As they were packing up their gear and readying for home, the father asked his son, 'so, what did you learn about poor people?'

The boy replied 'we have a dog, and they have four. We have a pool that spans half our backyard, and they have a creek that flows for miles. We have a patio in our front yard, and they have fields that stretch for as far as the eye can see. We have beautiful imported lanterns to light our yard, and they have a million stars. We have servants, and they are of service. We buy our food, and they grow theirs. We have a fence, and they have friends.

Thank you father, for showing me just how poor we really are'.

'Zen Tales, Tales From the Heart'

December 8th through 14th, 2014

I love, fiercely, and I am loved, deeply... these things are not false, nor subject to chemical analysis-

little girl swing from the tree of bones; electric flow and shiver

December 1st through 7th, 2014

...although life may seem completely out of control, there is a bigger picture, one that, when seen as a whole, a million light years from here, illustrates perfect balance and order. Asymmetrical composition, when viewed from another galaxy, always has a partner, another half, which makes all things symmetrical – sacred geometry – and amongst these halves, all these fractures, splits and borderlines, comprised of them, in fact, is ONE –